A Breach Too Far

Some friendships stand the test of time, some evolve over time and some… they transcend into… Ummm… I don’t know what to call it anymore. I only know it isn’t just friends…or best friends… Lovers? Tepid…Romance was too stale for the dark I’d traded for thrill… What then? You tell me…

***

Ruchita had been my best friend for more than three decades now. We grew up side by side, sharing secrets, her first kiss, my first boyfriend. Tears, laughter, and the occasional fight, we remained glued to each other through school first, then college. Months short of passing out, she thought someone, a girl one year junior had weaned me away from her. Couldn’t really blame her… I’d been spending some time with that girl – rumoured to be a lesbian back then, now happily raising three children.

“If I ever have to fall for a girl,” I’d held Ruchita close, “it’d be you Ruchi,” we’d hugged in the empty classroom. The almost-kiss with that girl remained a hidden note Ruchita never found out.

Over the years, life unfolded in its relentless way. Our paths diverged – marriage, careers, and responsibilities took precedence. While the friendship endured, the frequency of our meetings dwindled. Still, whenever I travelled to Delhi, once in a year, in two years, I made it a point to spend a day with her. Shopping, movies, café hopping… she continued to be the one.

Life changed dramatically for her since the separation two years ago. She’d married a couple of years before I did. Nineteen years into their marriage, they parted ways. Irreconcilable differences. That’s what the world knew. I knew better.

She now lived alone. From a bustling duplex to a quiet apartment save for the occasional visits from her son, Akshat, during his college vacations.

In his childhood, he used to be the naughty boy who had to be hauled off the playgrounds. Now he’d grown into a polite, bespectacled young man who was more absorbed in his books and guitar than in any youthful mischief. From what Ruchita shared, he didn’t have much of a social life – a fact she alternately fretted over and took comfort in.

“I hope he doesn’t turn out like his father,” she’d told me during our last conversation before the separation. The irony of her words wasn’t lost on me.

As always, with me Ruchita had confided even about the most intimate corners of her life. I did too… towards the beginning till my sixth sense told me everything wasn’t well with her.

“Lucky, aren’t you?”

“Is he good?”

Her questions were short. Her reactions listless.

“Is everything okay Ruchi? You know…” I’d hesitated before I decided to be more direct, “You getting it good?”

That was fifteen years ago.

Over countless cups of tea and whispered phone calls since that day, she had revealed her dissatisfaction with her husband’s lack of passion. Yet, unlike many, she had no qualms about admitting that she found solace by herself, speaking with a refreshing candour that I both admired and found intriguing. Over time she’d tried to instigate me too… no.. cajole me into masturbation.

“Thanks hun,” I finally told her one day, “I need the real thing.”

It wasn’t unpleasurable… just that I preferred a good railing from my husband. Until a few years ago. Since then, there’ve been some accidents, some incidents… but those are stories for some other time.

No, I never told Ruchita about those. Some memories are too personal to be shared with even best friends and at that point, she still was my best friend.

Post separation, her stories took a different turn. Freelance work introduced her to a variety of people. Among them was Raunak – a young entrepreneur with the energy and charm of someone who had just stepped out of IIT, India’s premier tech institute and the seedbed of future tech entrepreneurs, and into the real world.

“Can you believe it,” she’d appeared flustered when she spoke on a video call, “this twenty something fella was hitting on me today?”

Earlier in the afternoon she’d sent me a photo from an event. An elderly man holding on to her waist with a glass of whiskey on the other. The selfie had been clicked right at the moment when that man looked at her, smitten written all over his face. But… twenty something old…

Why did I feel that sudden pang when she told me? Was it because she had freedom now to be wooed by younger guys?

Her casual nightie clung to the curves… the engorged peaks pressing against the thin fabric of her nightie looked obscene.

Months earlier, I’d been initiated into the world of sapphic love. Without warning my eyes darted to scan her full figure.

Don’t think about it Mili… a little voice warned me. For then, I paid heed.

Suppressing it with a forced smile, which, I’m sure she’d have noticed didn’t reach my eyes, I’d asked her.

“Tall, dark and handsome?” the clichéd question shot in a hurry.

A chuckle left her chest bouncing. “On the contrary,” she covered her mouth in a girlish giggle. Something stirred in me… I felt my own nipples harden under the nightie.

The rest of Ruchita’s description about him was enough to paint a vivid picture. A nerd who could flirt with a woman double her age… and flirt with confidence in a room full of people who kept staring at him.

While not conventionally beautiful, Ruchita’s short hair and voluptuous figure radiated a confidence that men found irresistible. Raunak, her boy toy, despite having a girlfriend, was no exception.

“Why not have a bit of fun?” I’d said, watching her eyes light up with gratitude.

Initially, she had hesitated, her sense of propriety warring with temptation. I knew this war within. I’d lived through it, fought my way to unleash a part of me she didn’t know. She still thought of me as the frighteningly monogamous straight woman devoted to her husband. If only she knew!

Desired by a man only a few years older than her son, she’d ignored the image on screen – of me bent forward, the nightie curved low, stopping short of displaying the nipples which ached for attention.

‘Look at me Ruchi…‘ I wanted to say, ‘see me…‘

I couldn’t. My own sense of friendly propriety fought with the wetness that had steadily built ever since I’d decided to push the envelope with her.

She chose to fight her own devils instead.

I’d assured her there was no shame in indulging her desires.

“He’s so young,” her cheeks reddened, “only two years older than…”

“Akshat?” I’d shot up straight, pulling the nightie tight against my chest as my thighs pressed shut.

The thought of turning her into a shameless slut… Ahhh… how erotic was that!

I could share that remaining bit of myself with her finally… but before that, I wanted to make sure she’d lost control of her own desires.

“Yeah..” she didn’t complete it. Her eyes had finally rested on my peaks.

“Are you?”

“Am I what Ruchi?” I badly wanted to hear it from her.

She was wearing that old nightie on the video call. Faded blue cotton nightie, thin from too many washes, the neckline stretched a little from years of pulling it over her head.

It wasn’t meant to show anything. It just did. Because my mind didn’t ask for permission to feast on the full breasts, heavy and swaying when she leaned forward to pick up her coffee at this hour of the evening.

I’d seen her wear it countless times. It was functional earlier – ill fitting, loose. Now it looked alluring. The cotton gripped where it should, right across the front.

Was hers brown like mine? Darker? Larger?

Naughty questions swarmed my mind as my eyes feasted on the pointed peaks across the fabric.

If only it were white… not faded blue.

Earlier I used to look away. Back when I was still pretending to be just the straight married friend who listened and gave advice. These days I’d been letting my eyes linger.

“What’s it about me you wanted to ask?” I shifted a little on my chair so the camera would catch more of me, hoping she’d notice the way my own nightie was behaving. Pathetic.

“Nothing”

She kept looking… unfazed…But the glint in her eyes told me she had noticed.

She’d noticed, I kept staring. A challenge thrown at her – Stop me if you can written in fine print even as filthy, un-best friend thoughts pooled unbidden about the same girl I once hugged in an empty classroom and placated her that it’d be her if I were to ever fall for a girl.

Perverted thoughts refused to fade away…

I was tugging the neckline down, and watching her breasts tumble free, pebbly nipples hard and aching. Lifting it over the soft belly….reaching for the cleft between her thighs that I know would be warm and already a little slick if I slid my hand there while she’s still trying to protest that “this is crazy, Mili, we’re best friends.”

I wanted to be on my knees between those thick…

A fresh spark shot through my groin.

Fuck the silly underwear – it pressed right where I didn’t need it.

She still thinks I’m the safe, straight, married one. If only she knew how much of a slut I’ve become – and how badly I want to drag her down into it with me.

“Promise me you will tell me in details,” we were both breathing heavily when we hung up for the day.

And fun she had. Her newfound escapades with her young fling brought a glow to her cheeks and a spark to our conversations.

The details she shared were enough to make me laugh and, occasionally, blush. There were role-plays, she hinted once, and the naughty gleam in her eye left no doubt about how much she enjoyed them.

It was starting to become a vicious cycle – I’d draw out details, fight to hush the pants and end up plunging my fingers like crazy once the call disconnected. I no longer masturbated… I frigged… to thoughts of her…to thoughts of us, unashamedly filthy.

Then one Friday she texted that she was spending the weekend with him at a hotel.

Raunak had picked her up straight from work. When she mentioned keeping a spare set of clothes, he just smiled and said it wouldn’t be necessary. She didn’t argue then, but that Saturday morning she called me while he was in the shower, her voice low.

“He likes being naked,” she said. “Not just sex. Like… proper, walking around the room naked kind of thing. He wants me to try it too. Says it’ll help me feel better about my body after everything.”

I stayed quiet for a second, feeling that familiar little pulse down under.

“He says it’s different from sex,” she continued. “But I don’t know, Mili. After the divorce, with the way everything’s changed…”

“You naked now?” my voice had turned hoarse.

Shit! I hoped she didn’t notice that.

“Yes,” I could almost see her blush through the phone, “he has locked away the clothes”

Even as I wished for a second we could get on a video call, she continued, “I’m not sure I can just walk around like that in front of him all day.”

I listened, picturing her standing there naked… probably clutching the phone tighter than usual. And I felt myself too clothed for the moment. If only… I cut out the thoughts before they formed.

“I get it,” I said finally. “It’s not the same as naked, having sex.”

She let out a small laugh. “Exactly. This feels… I don’t know how to describe…”

While she searched for the right words, I almost told her… almost said I’d been doing the same thing for months — Akash had got me comfortable with it on tours and quiet weekends when the house was empty. But I stopped myself. I wanted to keep that for a conversation in person.

That same evening, after we hung up, I waited till I was sure my daughter was asleep before going to my room and did something I didn’t usually do when I was alone like this. I latched the door behind me.

On other days, stripping like this had felt exciting… almost freeing.

Tonight it felt different.

Absurd! Wrong! She’s just across the hall!

But the moment the latch clicked, the feeling quickly turned feral.

My Ruchi walking naked around Raunak… I felt jealous… I felt proud… I felt hungrier to have her.

I kept thinking about how he’d probably stare at her big ass swaying in front of him. How he’d hold her later while she slept, both of them naked.

And I wanted that too.

I wanted to be the one holding her like that. Nude…. No… Naked… her body against mine while she slept.

I was so worked up, I needed to do something reckless. I opened the windows.

Normally I wouldn’t have bothered — the AC kept the room cool enough — but tonight I wanted the air on my skin.

Should I be bolder? But that’d be too much risk…

I drew the curtains anyway, then stood there for a moment adjusting them, making sure there were no gaps. I wanted the risk, but not that much as yet.

Only after I was satisfied did I start taking my clothes off.

The room felt cooler as I walked around for a bit, then stopped in front of the big mirror in the bedroom. A flushed reflection looked back at me – sexy and wanton. Turning slowly, I ran my hands over my hips, on to the thighs and up past the folds of my stomach and up to my breasts. The image in the mirror was putting up a blatant show… and I still wanted more.

My nipples were already hard. Eyes closed, I imagined Ruchita standing there – not a stitch on her body… flushed… covering her mound with one hand, her breasts with the other.

Fuck! When was the last time I was this horny!!

I stepped closer to the mirror, spread my legs a little, and watched my own fingers slide between my folds.

For a second I paused, wondering if I was taking this too far in my head while she was probably still nervous. It’d be her first time staying naked throughout with her young lover. Then I pushed two fingers inside anyway. I wasn’t doing it for myself… I was showing it to my best friend… Unlike on other nights, the fingers settled into a slow and deliberate rhythm, eyes locked on my reflection, picturing her watching me do it.

I had just started moving my fingers when a sudden breeze came through the window and lifted the edge of the curtain.

My heart skipped a beat as I saw a clear gap — wide enough for a clear view if anyone was looking from the apartments on the other end. I froze, fingers still inside me, staring at the gap.

Had the curtains betrayed me?

Then I realised the angle. My bed and the mirror were both to the side. Even if anyone was deliberately standing at their window with binoculars, they wouldn’t have seen anything. Still, the fear had sliced through me icy cold. The folds inside clenched hard around my fingers.

I didn’t move to close the curtain.

Instead, I focussed back on the mirror, kept fucking myself slowly with my fingers, the possibility that someone could see me one day making everything feel more intense.

I imagined Ruchi watching me like this — nervous at first, then unable to look away.

The thought pushed me over. Intense waves hit me harder than I expected, and ragged moans slipped out before I could stop them. It was too late. I could only hope my daughter was still asleep across the hall.

When it passed, I stayed there for a few seconds, breathing hard, looking at my own flushed face in the reflection. While I was pulling my fingers out, a wicked thought slid in. What if I could make her touch herself in front of him?

I typed the message before I could talk myself out of it.

Me: Touch yourself in front of him. Do it. Don’t think. Just do it. 😜

22:48

Half expecting a reply, I’d already slipped into my nightie. Unlike her, I couldn’t afford to stay naked for the night.

Much to my amazement, her reply came after a few minutes.

Ruchi: You filthy woman. You’ve been getting more and more depraved lately.