Crystal Harris says she wishes she’d never said “I do” to Hugh Hefner—but she’s glad about who she became after it was over. In an Instagram video, the former Playboy model and Girls Next Door cast member was blunt when asked if she regretted marrying the Playboy founder: “Of course I do,” she said, per EW. Harris, who wed Hefner in 2012 and stayed with him until his 2017 death, said she now regrets spending her mid-20s believing that marrying a powerful, famous man meant she “finally mattered,” and described making herself “smaller” and staying silent to survive in his world. “And I think a lot of people expected me to never say that out loud, to stay in the story that was written for me, the grateful young wife, the lucky girl,” she said, per People.

Harris, whose 2024 memoir Only Say Good Things details her time inside the Playboy orbit, added that people expected her to remain the “grateful young wife,” but she’s “done living in that story.” She did note one upside: she’s thankful for the woman she became afterward. Not everyone applauded. Actor Jon Lovitz, a longtime Hefner friend who attended their wedding, publicly questioned whether she also regretted the house and money she received, sparking backlash from commenters who told him to “let the woman live and tell her own story.” Harris’ account follows a wave of ex-Playmates alleging abuse by Hefner; Playboy has said it believes and supports the women. (This content was created with the help of AI. Read our AI policy.)